Writing Is Fucking Is Writing
I wrote another essay today over at FetLife, the Facebook for kinksters, where I discuss the more personal sex-related topics that I don’t necessarily want people to stumble across accidentally. (If you seek it out, great.) And today’s essay is how some revelations I’ve had on writing have led me to feel better about my sexual style:
All my life I’ve been insecure about my sexual ability. No, check that:
All my life I’ve been insecure.
In a sense, that insecurity is a good thing, because it drives me mad to correct my faults. When I fuck, I fuck with a considerable amount of skill because I am determined to become better in bed with every coupling. If a woman is kind enough to let me into her bed, least I can do is not kiss like a slobbering German Shepherd. So I work that shit, even as I still lose myself in considerable passion. (I was told this weekend I “fuck like a beast,” which I’m going to purr over for a bit.)
But with insecurity comes the badness: the need for reassurance, the anxiety of Doing It Wrong, the drive to sometimes push when stasis is not only fine but what’s needed.
That said, one of the things that Neil Gaiman said to me at my Clarion class resonates in a weird way with sex….
If you want to read it all, well, it’s in the usual place.