The Power Of Limp Jesus Compels You

“Yeah, I made a mistake looking up Downton Abbey on IMDB,” I said.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, I was trying to figure out where I knew some of the actors from.  And I forgot that IMDB tells you how many episodes they’re in.”
“You dork.  You’re just starting Season Two,” said Gini.
“I know!  But it lied.  It said that Limp Jesus appeared in every episode, but he wasn’t in the last one!”
“…Limp Jesus?”
“You know.  The butler-dude with the limp.  He’s gone, and now everyone’s talking about him like he’s Aslan.”
“He has a name!  His name is Mr. Bates!  Do you remember no one?”
“Yeah.  There’s Lord Noble, and Bitchy Single Girl, and Snitchy Sister, and Dark Butler, and Cataract Girl, and….”
“You can remember the name of Aslan, but you can’t remember one name in the entire cast of Downton Abbey!?!?”
“Well, if there was a talking Lion-God in the cast of Downton Abbey, I’d remember his fucking name!”
Gini eyed me suspiciously.  “I’m not sure you would,” she said.  “I’m not sure you would.”