Some Days I'm Old: On Googling People
I met a cute girl the other day – although using the word “cute” to describe her covers her beauty in the same way that tossing a napkin on the ground covers the Appalachian Mountains. The quote I could not stop muttering to myself when looking at her was, “It is a body bred for one purpose – to destroy the world of men.”
Happily, we exchanged numbers. And after a few brief chats, she confessed to having Googled me.
Who the heck does that? I thought, followed by the answer of Probably everybody, because frankly if you meet someone new in any context, looking them up online to see whether they’re, I dunno, winner of the East Coast Aryan Dog-Eating Competition. And if you’ve got a crush – I get crushes, you may have noticed – then you can see whether they hold any particularly interesting opinions.
(And particularly if you Google me, whoo boy does a Pandora’s box of my interests come spilling out.)
But I grew up in the age of BBSes and modems and AOL 28.8 was the absolute shiz, and so my reflex to Google all the new people never formed in the womb. Hell, one of the most fascinating people I met over the weekend is a game designer who writes her own text adventures, and have I looked up her games? Of course not! We’ll find out the old-fashioned way, through the grand conversations we’ll have as we buggy-whip our horses down the cobblestone lane on the way to talk to our milkman!
Some days I look at myself, Mr. Internet Hipster, and am reminded that I am creaky and cranky and old.
But I’m still flirting. So there’s that.
Oh, holy crap. I wonder what happens if you google me. Maybe I don’t want to know.