Ask Me Anything, Stressed Weasel Edition
So I had a pretty crappy day yesterday, what with a cavity and a gruellingly ignorant tech support experience:
“Now, is the tech still there? At your house?”
“…why?”
“Doesn’t he need to install the IP address?”
“It’s… not a physical item.”— Ferrett Steinmetz (@ferretthimself) July 12, 2016
So I’m doing my usual “I want to reach out to people but don’t want to write an essay to do it” trick of saying “Whaddaya wanna know about me?” All serious questions are on the table, which is to say, questions you actually want to know the answer to: the answer to questions like “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?” is “You’re not nearly as clever as you think you and shouldn’t post in this thread,” which generally makes people sadder than they’d like to be.
But anything else: up for grabs. Wanna know about the new novels? Polyamory? What’s happening with me and Pokemon Go? My opinions on random news events? I’m up for anything, because last night was so stressful all I had for dinner was cupcake frosting and Ativan, so g’wan, distract me.
So many possible questions. I would live to hear about the novel your working on, but I’m also a foodie. So, I loved your article about your Michelin meal experience. What’s your favorite meal and/or dining experience?
Actually, my favorite meals recently have been ones I haven’t catalogued – I ate at Eleven Madison Park in New York and The Funky Gourmet in Greece. I have photographs, but haven’t had time to write them up.
But the best meal I ate was definitely chronicled here. I’ve never had better, nor will I.
What’s your favorite pokemon, and what’s your favorite that you have caught so far in pokemon go?
No favorite Pokemon per se, but the best I’ve caught is a weirdie dude called Slowbro. He’s freaky lookin’, and I caught him natural.
How would you write the first scene in the next Star Wars movie? (Alternately: What scene would make you happiest in that movie?)
First scene depends on the plot, and I’d have to write a plot. But I know what scene I want to see:
I want to see the scene where after Luke fails to teach her properly, Rey says to him, “Your Jedi academy – all it did was emulate what Obi-Wan and Yoda did. But they failed. They failed twice – once when they created Darth Vader, once when they turned you into a weapon to kill him. You only became the man you did because you were Luke Skywalker, and you ignored all of that to follow your instincts – can that man teach me?”
And she reminds him of his true talent, and he teaches her shit like whoa.
BONUS SCENE: The one where Luke reveals that going after Snoke is a trap, because he’s still so pissed about all the dead kids that he chances going Dark Side. You don’t want someone as powerful as Luke Dark Side. Trust me.
Kinkster here,
Had a course on fireplay not that long ago, and now I know the basics of the technique, but don’t really know what to do with it.
How would you make an awesome scene/bit of play with just the basics of torch handling?
Looking forward to your response, and sending hugs and spoons.
Depends. I mean, some people like fire, some don’t. So it all depends on whether you’re into it, and your bottom is.
Basically, I have three modes:
1) Sensation play. I get to touch some naked bodies, they get to see themselves on fire, it’s a win/win unless the fire freaks them out.
2) Sensual massage. If I know someone better, that touch turns much more personal, with lots of teasing, fire in weird places, blowing hot air on intimate parts, mixing the heat of the flame with my own personal touch so it’s a turn-on.
3) Straight-up torture. If they want fire, I leave it on their bodies for as long as they can tolerate, jamming flames at the hollows of their throat, making them watch as I set their naughty bits on fire. This one requires a bit of experience not to actually hurt them, but once you bring all the blood to the surface with heat, everything else is extra painful.
What do you find is the best ‘tool’ in your poly toolbox? Obviously communication, but the sorts of things that for example diffuse bad feelings or help you and your wife reconnect.
The best tool for me is remembering that my emotions are not act-upons. I can feel bad, and it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault per se – as in, they did anything wrong to do it – nor does my feeling of jealousy necessarily have to be talked out or reassured or whatever.
Sometimes, you just sit with uncomfortable emotions. That’s not a skill that’s taught enough.
Every once in a while, an article floats through the interweb pointing out that people’s musical tastes/exploration narrows greatly as they age. Do you fit the model, listening primarily to your Firsts, or do you keep up with current developments in the music world?
Tangentially, do you drum anymore?
No, I very much explore whenever I can. It’s one of the hallmarks of my relationship with Gini; we keep exploring new things. Bourbon, we only started drinking about a year ago. Hats are about six years old. Pretty pretty princess nails are about four years. Lots of what people think of as “being Ferrett” is, in fact, a new development.
My music is also in flux, and I like that. (Try The Apples. I love their jazz stylings.)
A few questions for you, then!
What’s your favorite bourbon (so far)?
Current favorite videogame for console?
What’s a kink you haven’t tried yet, but are curious about?
What’s your favorite bourbon (so far)?
Blanton’s, but it has a lot of changes to each bottle. I think that’s why I like it.
Current favorite videogame for console?
Really loved DOOM. Though INSIDE was awesome, if a bit short.
What’s a kink you haven’t tried yet, but are curious about?
Anonymous sex. But alas, my polycule prevents that.
What three questions would you like asked?
As in, what things are you exploding to talk about but don’t know how to bring out the topic? Or what do you want to be made to reflect upon? or…