The Cold, Cold Math We’ll Need To Survive The Next Twenty Years

So when Republicans lost in 2012, I wrote an essay asking them to soul-search, because I genuinely believe our country needs two functioning parties to work.

We Democrats got shellacked last night.  We lost everything.  We lost the Presidency, we lost the House, we lost the Senate, we lost the Supreme Court.  And we have no hope in 2018, either; most of the available seats in Congress are in deep red states.

The cold facts are that we’re going to spend the next twenty years getting back into power.  And in the meantime, Mike Pence has confirmed he’s going to roll back LGBT rights.  Ugly anti-Muslim sentiment is going to be made into policy.  That whole Black Lives Matter thing is no longer going to have quiet Presidential backing.  (If you thought there was no fundamental difference between Hillary and Trump, I am now in the quiet position of genuinely, faithfully hoping you were right.)

That said, I’m going to show you a chart that will show us how to survive.  And it’s this:

See that chart?  There’s one vital lesson we need to take away from that, and that is Cold Math Lesson #1:

Minority voters are not going to save America.

They came out.  Blacks and Latinos tried to stop Trump.

Despite their best efforts, white voters came out in droves and annihilated them.

You may argue that’s because of voter suppression laws that took away polls in minority neighborhood, restricted hours, purged largely minority voters from the rolls.  (My wife, who had volunteered at the polls, saw some of that personally last night in Ohio, and I wonder how much that affected Trump’s win here.)

But that’s gonna be the future.  There’s only gonna be more voter suppression, now that the team that tried to do it before have the power.  If you’re relying on the sole power of minority voters to rescue America, we are going to lose forever.

(Though if you look at the Latino voters, Trump actually won more of them than Romney did in 2012.  We’ll get to that.)

Which leaves us with this chart, and Cold Math Lesson #2:

We’re going to have to find ways to reach uneducated white voters.

Which largely means “rural white voters.”  Look at the map county by county, and it looks like dots of citified blue drowning in a sea of red.  We as Democrats have lost that sea of red, and it’s costing us more each year.

David Wong wrote an excellent article on how shitty and hopeless rural life is these days, and J. D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy describes the collapsed culture of the red states in heartbreaking detail.

And when I read about that alien and foreign culture – for really, we are two Americas – I see people who are quietly abandoned.  And yet when I’ve seen progressive calls that we need to “understand” and “sympathize” with Trump voters in rural states, you know what I’ve heard personally on numerous times:

Fuck those people. 

They’re racists and sexists. 

They hate gays and trans people and people I love. 

Why should I give a fuck about people who literally want to legislate my body? 

Which leads us to Cold Math Lesson #3:

We’re going to have to find ways to understand the concerns of people who hate us, or get used to losing more.   

I’m not saying that’s pleasant, man.  But the coldest math is this:

As long as we’re willing to write off the people in dying towns with no economic future and doubled suicide rates because they’re anti-gay or sexist or racist or whatever repellent thing they are, we are going to be at their mercy.

The rural areas are dying, and Obama won in 2008 and 2012 partially because he managed to speak to them on some level.  This time, Trump spoke to them better, and you can argue that he lied to them better and he’s a con man and he’s a failed businessman…

But when he spoke, they felt heard.

And yeah.  You can argue, with some level of correctness, that poor white voters tended to break for Hillary slightly more, it was the middle-class people who voted Trump in.  You know what?

Whoever the people who voted for Trump were this time, you still have to find a way to make enough of them vote for our next President.

And what I’m seeing today across my Twitter feeds is “Trump won because America is racist” and “Trump won because America is sexist,” as if that’s the end of the goddamned discussion.  And some days I wonder whether we love calling people out as sexist or racist is because it’s so goddamned satisfying, insulting is so goddamned satisfying, and it’s a reductive call that makes it so you can go “RACIST” and walk away as if you don’t have to bother with one of those stupid idiots.

So America is racist.

The big question is, “How do we appeal to a racist America so we don’t get our clocks cleaned?”

Because we have to.  As noted, the minorities alone will not save the Democratic party.  And for all the talk of racism, Hillary did significantly less well in Midwest areas that Obama rocked.

Is that racism?  Maybe it’s sexism, because Hillary also did less well among black and Latino voters than Obama.  And if that’s true, maybe we have to figure out a way to find these racist and/or sexist motherfuckers and understand what gets their goddamned vote, and if we just shrug “America’s a sexist racist tarpit, whatcha gonna do?” then let’s hand the fucking keys over and be done with it.

Or maybe it’s more complex than that.  Because yeah, there’s KKK-hood-wearing suckers, and they were happy to come out to play.  But maybe some other voters have elements of unconscious racism or sexism or homophobia in them, but enough of them can be appealed to by promising them… something.  I don’t know what that is.

I’m merely telling you we have to figure out what we need to promise them, and alter the party so that we look like we can deliver it.

I say “looking” because I don’t think Trump will deliver it, but the sad truth is he spoke their language better this time around.  And are we comfortable reducing that language to only racist dogwhistles?

Because let’s talk real: I’ve had white liberal friends living on food stamps, holed up in a friend’s closet for space, unable to get the medications they need to survive, and they’ve occasionally gotten lectures on the grand White Privilege they have.

And White Privilege?  It is a thing.  Don’t you dare misquote me as saying it’s not a fucking thing.

But for some people, particularly the folks trapped in The Town Where The Factory Shut Down Ten Years Ago, White Privilege is not enough.

I’ve had some poor white friends who’ve had to step away from discussions, and they were on our side.

How do we talk to the ones who aren’t on our side so they feel heard, and respected, and give them solutions that not only do work, but are seen to work?

(Because you ask people whether they get government subsidies, no, no, they don’t – but they get plenty of them all the time. They just don’t call them that, so they’re not seeing themselves as the government cutting them a break.)

And you know what?  I don’t know how to give them what they need in order to get their vote.  It’s going to be complex.  It’s going to require we change our culture, and yes, yes, that fucking sucks moose butt that we’re the ones who have to change to appeal to a bunch of people who are fine with literally jailing our loved ones for going to the wrong bathroom.

We don’t need to change all their minds.  We change 10% of them, we’re a superpower.  We change 5% of their minds, we win in a landslide.

A 1% shift in the right counties last night, and Hillary would have won.

But that is the math.  It’s cold.  It’s really fucking frigid here in America today.

Maybe it is all down to racism, in which case we’ve got to figure out how to get those racist white voters on our side.  Or maybe it’s more complex than simple racism or sexism or stupidity, and it’s that we’re not meeting the actual concerns of undecided voters because we’re so furious these stupid rednecks would want to stop my gay friends from marrying that we’ve just decided not to give a crap about those people.

But we have to.  That is the math.  We need to figure out what gets those people, unfair as it is, and change our culture to appeal to them.  And that’s gonna be hard, because the danger in that is that we change our culture so much to move to the middle that we compromise our morality.  What good would it do to win the Presidency with a President who wouldn’t fight for the rights of gays and minorities?

(Some would say that they didn’t think Hillary would do that.  I know she lost votes because of that.  And we need to listen to those concerns, too, without writing them off as exclusively sexist.)

And a third time: I don’t know what they need.  I’m a city boy.  I don’t speak their language.  But I do know this is a time for complexity, not oversimplification.  It’s easy to take that drug of “AMERICA IS RACIST” and walk away.  Because honestly, minorities, you’ve spent your entire lives learning how to suck up to these people who do not give a damn about your bodies hitting the floor and now, yes, I’m telling you we need to do it more.  That’s fucking exhausting, and I do not for one moment take that lightly.

I’m not saying it’s easy.  But that has to be our priority: figuring out how to appeal to those voters who broke for Trump today, without compromising our core values.

That is frigid math.  Our path to victory involves reaching out to people who despise who we are.

Yet we do that, or it’s going to get even colder.

And I don’t want arguing in the comments about who is to blame right now, because we’re just going to get into angry flourishes of whether should have elected Bernie or how Hillary was a horrid candidate or the media didn’t do enough to combat Trump or any of that.   That’s not the point.

What I want you to do is to recognize that one central fact:

We gotta get people who hate us to like us.

That’s never been easy.  But it’s even easier to give into satisfying anger at the expense of effectiveness.

And now, I’m going to take a break from political blogging for a while. Because Trump is in power. And now I’m in the position I was when we disastrously invaded Iraq: believing with all my heart that this is going to end terribly, hoping with all my heart that he’s going to be the centrist, reasonable President some of my friends believed he would be.

Because if he’s not, well, it’s gonna be a long time until 2020.

Our Hills Are Alive With Our “Sound Of Music” Singalong

So on December 10th, we’ll be opening up La Casa McJuddMetz to anyone who feels like singing along with The Sound Of Music.  Which is an awesome musical, and it looks even more awesome in hi-def on our Holodeck of a television, and it sounds even more awesome on our surround sound theater.

So if you wanna show up and harmonize, we’ll be happy to have you.  We like musical folks.

But don’t say a single bad word about Julie Andrews, or we may have to cut you.

“Sorry! I Don’t Want To Interrupt Your Sweetie Time.”

“I’m sorry I sent you a text!” someone I have a crush on will tell me. “I know your girlfriend is in town. I don’t want to interrupt your time with her.”

First off, it’s a text. I have a pretty simple solution for that: if I’m in the middle of sweetie-time, I put the phone down. Are people leaping up mid-coitus to answer their buzzing phone?

When the wine’s on the table and we’re holding hands and the stars are beaming down romance, if the phone buzzes, it stays in my pocket.

Second, the people I date are all mature enough to understand that communication with the outside world does not stop when they walk through the door. They’re my primary focus, sure, but if I see something cool and think of a friend I’ll text a picture to my friend. If a friend has just gotten bad news, I’ll sympathize.

I’m not going to enter into a sexting session or an extensive text-counselling session (unless you’ve got a huge emergency), but I’m still going to talk to folks.

Third, I won’t waste my hours with them texting other people – see the first point – but texting doesn’t take a lot of time. I can catch up on my texts while they’re in the shower, or sending a picture takes like ten seconds max.

And fourth, and most importantly, the people I date realize that they’re part of an ecosystem of people I adore, of friends and lovers and family. If I smile at someone else’s text because they sent something that made me laugh, chances are I’ll share that funny with them. Because those other people are a part of my life, just like they are, and I don’t try to firewall off the knowledge of other people but to share the information of who they all are.

That, I admit, is not for everybody. But me personally, I find that I tend to get less jealous of SCARY UNKNOWN PARTNER when I get an idea of their sense of humor, when I know what fears they have, when I know the goofy things they do. I’m not just tolerant of the other people in my partners’ lives – I’m invested in them to an extent, as I want them to thrive and be happy and enjoy so long as they’re boosting my partners’ happiness.

Like I said. If I was doing something critical with them, you’d not hear from me until we were in down-time again. And if I was in a position where I was paying more attention to you than to them, well, I’d put the phone down.

But if I pick up the phone, I’ve got a few seconds to read your text, and reply, and let you know “Hi, I’m thinking of you.” Maybe that sounds like a horrible imposition when you’re on a date with me.  And if so, well, the solution is simple: don’t date me.

Yet I find they like getting those little “Howdy!”s when I’m on a date with someone else. It’s proof that you’re not occluded when I’m out with another person – if I like you enough to text you on a regular basis, friend or smoochy-person, you’re always on my mind at strange little times, you’re threaded into the weave of my life, and a text shows that.

You’re not the only color in my tapestry. But you’re important enough that I still want to say “hi” at little moments. Because everyone I’m friends with matters.

Even on, and perhaps especially on, times when I’m out with my sweetie.

Professional Writers’ Secrets That’ll Help You With National Novel Writing Month.

So today, you’re going to start writing A Novel for National Novel Writing Month.

Don’t forget that it can suck.

Lots of novels suck on the first draft.  Mine do!  (And some even say my novels suck after the sixth draft and they’re in bookstores and shiz.  That happens.)  The Viable Paradise Writers’ Workshop mantra is “It’s a draft, it can suck.”  Sucking is part of the process, and that’s awesome!

Quite often, when someone’s writing a novel, forward momentum is their goal.  I know I screwed the pooch in Chapter 3, but if I go back to fix that then I’ll never get to the stuff I’m excited about in Chapter 4.  I have friends with award-nominated books who have entire segments that go {INSERT AWESOME MAGICAL BATTLE HERE} or {HEARTBREAKING BACKSTORY GOES HERE} in their first drafts because, well, ya gotta keep going.

Fun fact: In the latest book I wrote, I kept getting feedback from my beta readers that went, “This entire book winds up being about the lead character’s religion, but his religion is barely mentioned in the first six chapters.”  That’s because I realized my protagonist was religious in Chapter 6.  I eventually had to go back and rewrite those chapters heavily, but I didn’t at the time because this whole “religion” angle really made the character come alive for me. I wanted to follow him down this new path, not churn up backstory – and that new path kept me excited enough to write all the way to those delightful words “THE END.”

(Why didn’t I rewrite those early chapters heavier before sending it out for feedback?  Because honestly, I’d hoped that I could get away with religion suddenly popping up in Chapter 6.  I couldn’t.  That’s what beta readers will tell you!)

While we’re speaking about beta readers, you may need them for Your Great NaNoWriMo novel.  But I wouldn’t worry about them now.  I’ve watched lots of people go through NaNoWriMo over the years, and the people who treat it like “THIS IS MY GREAT NOVEL WHICH I WILL PUBLISH AND BECOME FAMOUS OFF OF” usually melt down over the pressure.  Whereas the folks who say, “I’m gonna have fun with this and see what happens” have a greater chance of getting through it.

Because it’s hard enough to write to please yourself.  Writing to please others, specifically publishers, is going to just have you questioning every decision with, “Is this commercial enough?”  And the honest fact is that if any writer knew what was commercial, by God, we would all write bestsellers.

(Maybe James Patterson knows.  If so, he’s not telling us.)

I’m a little biased, because I’m well-known for having written six novels of varying quality, each of which was designed to appeal to a Market.  And after six novels that got roundly rejected, I finally gave up and wrote a story a story about donuts and magical drugs and videogame magic, and that novel sold.

So don’t worry about Your Grand Future.  Write a novel you’d enjoy.  It doesn’t have to make much sense; if you want to, you can run it past beta readers and fix the incoherent parts in edits.  NaNoWriMo should be about writing something you’d want to read, because I guarantee you that with some time, nobody will be able to write the type of novel you’d want to read better than you can…

Which is to say “with some time.”

My last bit of advice is that if you’re new to writing, you should watch this video by Ira Glass.  It’s literally the best thing I’ve ever heard said about why you get disappointed at your own writing, and why that disappointment is actually a good thing, and it all takes about ninety seconds. I’m not even going to paraphrase here; let the man talk directly to you.

Now.  Get in there!  Write your heart out!  And remember: if you’re not finished by the end of November and you’re still writing a story you love, you haven’t lost; you’ve actually become a real novelist!

Finish!