I Teach Classes! Ask Me How!

I do workshops on both polyamory and writing.  If you’d like to see me at your convention, I ask for travel expenses, hotel expenses, and usually a fee of a negotiable rate, depending on how interesting your event looks.  I’ll also bring my books to sell privately.
If you’re interested, contact me at theferrett@theferrett.com with the subject “WILL YOU TEACH AT MY EVENT?” along with the date and location of the event.
The classes I teach are below.  If I have assembled public notes for a given class, they’re also listed.  Each class runs anywhere between an hour and two hours, and can be expanded or shrunk to fill appropriate space.
In addition, I’ll cheerfully run writing workshops, wherein students bring in stories for professional critique.
How To Fight Fairly
It’d be lovely if every problem could be worked out with a calm, reasonable discussion – but this is the real world, and tempers rise.  Relationship expert Ferrett Steinmetz discusses what separates a productive argument from a destructive argument, and will argue that good fights are not only necessary, but can actually bring you closer together.
Class notes for How To Fight Fairly

Ten Perilous Poly Patterns
There’s no bad way to do polyamory – but certain relationship styles are more dangerous than others. Ferrett discusses ten common ways that polyamorous relationships hurt people, ranging from The Faked Contract Signature to Ping-Pong Poly to the Ablative Tertiary Meat-Shield.

You may recognize yourself in these patterns.  Ferrett himself has been three of them, much to his chagrin.

Jealousy Is Not A Crime: Troubleshooting Broken Polyamory
If you’re dating multiple people, bumps will occur, sure as death and taxes. The question is, how do you figure out what’s wrong… and how do you repair the faults so that you emerge stronger and saner? Kinktastic writer Ferrett Steinmetz will lead a discussion about how to fight fairly, how to be respectful to all the people in your poly web, and how to create a solid set of dealbreakers.

Class Notes for Jealousy Is Not A Crime
Effective Long-Distance Relationships
Your lover’s in another town, and you miss them. But how do you work to schedule things effectively? How do you endure the periods of longing? How do you resolve conflicts effectively when you might not see each other for months? Let Ferrett Steinmetz share all the ways he’s blown it, and guide you to better paths.
Class Notes for Effective Long-Distance Relationships
Wet With Words: Writing Effective Erotica
Whether it’s composing the hottest of sexts or just porning up your fanfic, there is an art to getting an audience aroused with mere words. Let professional author Ferrett Steinmetz – dubbed a “ninja sexter” by his lovers – discuss the techniques involved in taking your erotic writing to the next level.

Class Notes for Wet With Words
You Don’t Perform Surgery With A Butter Knife: Holding Safe, Sane Breakups
One thing’s guaranteed in every poly community: eventually, you’re going to run into your exes. And as such, learning how to break up responsibly becomes of paramount importance – you don’t have to adore them any more, but you should be able to at least function in the same spaces. So how do you call it off with a minimum of drama, even when people are trashing you in public?
(NOTE: Though it’s one of my most useful classes, alas, this is one of my least attended classes, mainly because very few couples say to each other, “Let’s go to the breakup class!”  If you’re having me teach two classes or less, this workshop is not recommended.)
Class Notes for Safe, Sane Breakups
Burninating the Peasants: Fireplay 101
A hands-on demonstration, showing how to set fire to the ones you love. Much discussion of safety. Much more pretty, pretty flames. Will include demonstrations of fire wands, flash cotton, firecupping, and, if things go drastically wrong, fire extinguishers. (Hint: Things will not go drastically wrong.)
(NOTE: Be sure to check with your hotel and/or playspace before asking me to teach this class. Unless you have an exceptionally good relationship with your hotel, “He’s going to set fire to someone” usually means a prompt shutdown.)