The guy on the right was the announcer and a good sorta guy — apparently he knew Sheryl from somewhere and kept heckling her relentlessly the entire night, blaming every technical screwup on her.  For her part, Sheryl just gasped melodramatically and grinned, "Can you believe this guy?"  By the end of the night, I when I had to do the mother/son dance over again, I was blaming her.  It was a lot of fun.

This is a "candid" shot of the cousins of the Steinmetz family.  That's Suzi, Kelly, ol' fatbutt the groom, Jodi, and Jimmy.  This is notable for a few reasons:  One, it's the only full shot of Kelly when she's not stuffing food into her face — get a good look! — and two, I remember this because it was a hell shot! 

Let me explain — one of the great pieces of advice came from my friend Thom "I'm Not Haystack, Dammit" Guthrie, who, when I told him I was getting married, said this:  "Here's my advice:  Eat when you can."  

I said "What?", for it made no sense to me at the time.

He said, "When you hit that table, start scarfing.  You won't get another chance.  If you don't eat then, after that comes the dances.  Then the toasts.  Then everyone wants to talk to you, and they should get the chance.   Then the night will be over and you'll go to bed starving.  Just eat.   Trust me."  And so I did — thank God!

Because by the time this picture was taken, there was a desperate need for a cousin family shot.  I agree.  We look good together.  But as I was trying to step in, I had to have the dance with my mother, and Suzi wanted to give me some really cool Star Wars pens, and I'd left something at my Dad's the other night which he had in his car for me and someone else wanted something.... and I literally had to be dragged back to this shot to make it and then I was off to the races again.

Some advice for the about-to-be-married:  One... eat.   Thom is really completely right on this one.  Two, realize you're not going to get to spend the day really in deep conversation with anyone, as you are the center of attention and will be flashed constantly like paparazzi.  Just smile and go with it.   But realize the purpose of the wedding reception proper is to be some incredibly hectic that by the time you hit that honeymoon sweet it feels like the most relaxed, quiet place you've ever been in your life.  So be warned. 

Another candid shot of me with my long-suffering Uncle Billy Steinmetz.   Why long-suffering?  Well, let's put it this way:  Before I adopted the nom de plume "Ferrett" — the reason for which is a long boring story I will only go into if asked specifically in private — I used to write for "Hip" magazine back in CT under the name "William Steinmetz".  Most of my older columns at theferrett.com were taken directly from there.  If you haven't been, go.  Get an idea of what sort of embarassing things I write about.  And we had the same name.  See the problem here? 

I remember the time I ran for President and he found my latest escapades taped to his door.  Of all people, he oughtta be happiest I'm now not going by my chosen handle.  Hi, Billy!

A candid shot of the Bosworths.  I have no stories to tell here, sadly.  Except that someone looks like they're goosin' June.